On average, we talk ourselves into thinking we’re going to fail, more than we think we’re going to succeed and continue to live our lives like that.

It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile, but smiling has more benefits than frowning, so why not smile anyway? Perhaps there's a different way we can look at failing then. Failing gives us our most treasured lesson that there is always a reason for failing and that even though we have failed, we can always bounce back next time, even stronger.

Failing allows to seek out the opportunity to learn how and where we've gone wrong. Perhaps then we can think about succeeding instead of thinking we're going to fail all the time.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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6 comments on “Thinking to fail”

  1. I agree there is definitely a relationship between our attitude to a task and the outcome.

    I think that when we have a positive approach then that somehow permeates through all aspects of our lives. Having said that I also believe that we do need to fail occasionally, so that we may learn from those failures and use that wisdom gained to better ourselves too.

    1. I couldn't agree more. When we put a positive approach out, we're sewing a seed, putting that positivity into the universe and the universe will respond with a positive answer back and that in turn will help us deal with other aspects of our lives.

      Have you ever noticed that when you are negative, everything else you're working on doesn't work out either? That too is the universe's response. The universe will always respond in equal measures on what we put out there.

  2. Failure has preceded just about everything I'm successful at today; although some of my failures were by default. But how we measure success is up to the individual, not society at large.

    Blogs like this foster success, as it is a reminder to look within and bring out the best we can be.

    1. Thanks Tim. I'm pleased my blogs help in the way you describe. I have learned over the years to search and look for answers and if that means looking within, then that is what I've had to do.

      I believe we have to fail to taste the sweet smell of success as they say. If we were successful at everything, we would lose sight of what life is really about. I concur with your thoughts about some of your failures though, although I'm not sure whether I failed in the true sense, I just didn't excel at anything; again by default.

      Things that are done to us, or decisions we go on to make as a consequence of those things can leave us reeling, but our lessons are to understand, to try to turn those experiences around and bounce back as quickly as we can.

      I have never had success in the true sense of the word until now. The success of the diary is something I treasure and hold tight. We mustn't become complacent though.

      Success is not something owed, it's something we have to constantly work at, me included and just as we have it, it can easily be taken away.

  3. Planning on failing is one of my weak points. My therapist and I have been working on that for a while. I try to watch something fun or funny on YouTube everyday that makes me laugh.

    1. Thanks Joe. It's lovely to see you on the site. I'm really not sure you're the only that struggles with this. The trouble with failing is that when we fail once, we worry we will fail again. When we fail, we lose confidence in ourselves and will often go on to deal with self-esteem issues.

      It's a pattern we continue until we learn to change it. What I do know is just because we may fail doesn't mean we have to continue to fail. It's a perception thing and with all perceptions we can change our attitude to it.

      I'm pleased you have help Joe. Good luck. Let us know how you get on with progress. Watching or listening to something positive always helps.

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