This was a life (A journal)

Some days it still doesn’t feel real. It's raw,
like I’m walking through someone else’s loss – watching it happen from a distance.
But it did happen,
I lost my twin.
I still don’t know how to explain what her loss really means.
It wasn’t just losing someone close.
It was like losing half of how I understand the world.

And when your mind is struggling with the loss when you’re working on holding it all together.
In the midst of loss, all we need is someone to see.
To help us acknowledge the weight of it,
and to reach out.
To be there, and to stay.
We are not too much,
we are not a burden.

A difficult life, I've known much trauma... I keep going.

I am still here,
with my twin physically gone, I know she's still with me – the signs are there.
And I am trying to function in a different ‘normal’ without her.

But it's not normal – it's isolating and lonely.