I thought I would look at ways to help us deal with anger. Without learning to deal with and handle anger, we may always stay angry.

Although it’s normal to feel angry from time to time, anger isn’t something we should let move into our lives permanently.

These tips should help:

  • It's important to recognise why you're angry. Try to look for and work through the initial source of anger;
  • Talk your anger through with the person you're angry at;
  • If it's your child that's angry, try to get them to talk about why they're feeling angry;
  • Apologise when you're through the angry stage. That way you show others, it’s okay for them to apologise too;
  • Write your anger thoughts down. Thoughts can sometimes help us understand the anger we feel and helps put space between us and the anger we feel;
  • It’s easier to get angry than it is to work through the initial source of anger, but anger should always be addressed;

Anger is a culmination of a past experience in the present moment and something we're presently dealing with. It is important to evaluate how you feel.

It is also important to talk about the things that may turn into anger, anger that usually comes from nowhere.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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6 comments on “Tips for handling anger”

  1. Yes, being better able to handle my anger would be such a great thing! Anger does actually have a purpose as it is one of the survival instincts that people really do need.

    It definitely isn't something I want, but there are times when there isn't much you can do about it other than deal with it. The biggest issue I usually have is being unsure of where the anger may be coming from at times.

    Kind of hard to tell when you have almost 50 years of it buried in your soul. Most of it isn't even mine considering how much my parents dumped on me, instead of dealing with it themselves.

    Now all I need to do is figure out a way to finally get rid of what I can, so that it isn't weighing me down like it has for most of my life.

    1. I think you're right Randy. We do need to figure out a way to finally get rid of our anger. As you rightly say, anger if not dealt with, weighs us down and will continue to weigh us down.

      I hope what I've written helps. I believe that when our anger isn't about us, but coming from other people's actions, it's easier to let it go.

  2. I don't get angry as much as I get frustrated. Is that the same thing? It's never been my nature to walk around and he a grump to people, all because life isn't going my way. I was also raised that way too.

    However, I believe there's some truth with personalities amongst families. For instance, my dad has a short temper, so do my sisters and my daughter. My mom and I are the same.

    1. Thanks Bonnie. I agree with you when you say you believe there is truth with personalities amongst families, but I'm not sure how much of that is inherent or environmental.

      From what I know there is a difference between being angry and being frustrated. Being frustrated is something we can usually contain and deal with, without exploding or taking it out on someone else.

      Anger is a strong feeling of annoyance which isn't usually contained.

  3. You made it clear to me when you stated that we live our past experiences in the present moment; I wrote that down on a note pad as to never forget it.

    1. Thanks Tim!! I'm pleased you've embraced the rationale behind my thinking. This is exactly how my blogs work.

      There's a message as to how we can change things in all my blogs, as you have shown.

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