Food for thought: We’ve probably all come across people in our lives who are toxic. They’re in our environments, and in our lives too. If anyone toxic tries to bring you down to their level, work at bringing them up to your level and if you can’t, choose to walk away. Your sanity and health will thank you for it.
Boy, I could write a whole book about toxic people! I'm pretty sure I had toxic parents who shouldn't have had children but decided to anyway.
They forced us to be around a lot of toxic people, so it's no wonder that I lost the ability to tell the difference even though I was very good at reading people. I seemed to have continued that pattern throughout my life in friendships and relationships and constantly wonder why, it was that I kept dealing with the same type of people. It made a lot of sense once I read the book about it, but even then I still didn't always get it!
Now I have to really pay attention since I don't want to have to deal with that chaos in my life anymore. People will so often take advantage of nice people to the point where you almost don't want to continue being nice. I used to be able to just tolerate it, because I was so used to it, but I have gotten to the point that I feel like I don't deserve to be treated that way.
I used to always dwell on the fact that people made me do things, but the reality was that I personally made the choice to put myself in a position to later be hurt. It is so very difficult to learn how to tell the difference.
I need to be able to do it so I don't end up suffering like I always used to!
Thanks Randy. Yes, sometimes it's just easier to continue, because to change means we have to emotionally deal with all the issues associated with mixing with toxic people.
I feel it's important we move away from toxic people, or if we can't move away, limit how much time we spend with them. Not only is mixing with toxic people negative, demoralising and demeaning, being around toxic people is bad for our emotional and physical health.
That should be a good enough reason to stay away.
The time it takes to move from denial to grief is enough time for a toxic person to drain the life out of you. They're usually the passive aggressive types, who slowly peel away your happiness by endless confrontation and negativity.
I was once involved in a very toxic relationship and I almost lost myself inside of it.
Thanks Tim. So sorry to hear that. I'm pleased you got out. What you describe is something many of us have experienced too. I would like to say it's unique, but it's not.
It's important for anyone in that situation to be consciously aware and stay consciously aware, because being consciously aware allows us to stay permanently in control.
As you rightly say, it's easy to lose ourselves in the relationship and do nothing about it. We may justify it because we're too scared to say anything or we don't genuinely see what's staring us in the face, until we eventually wake up.
It sometimes takes us a while to see the true qualities in a person as we can get lost in other aspects of the relationship; but eventually true colours prevail and toxicity is one very good reason to walk away.
Thanks, yes there are many reasons why we don't see a person's true qualities, for some in our lifetime.
I agree it's a good reason to walk away... I would say a very good reason to walk away; particularly where our health is beginning to be compromised.