There have always been two sides to me, the side where I write with ease and that part makes sense, then there’s the side of me that lives with continual struggles around anxiety and autism that never goes away.
My not so easy life
Through my writing, I make things look easy, but my life and what I have to deal with around anxiety and autism are far from easy. Even if I had been given my diagnosis as a child, I still wouldn't have had the tools to know why or how I presented. It's not nice to be judged.
Unless you understand your disability, a diagnosis is just a diagnosis, it doesn’t explain the symptoms that make up the ‘umbrella term’ of the disability. It's the same with autism. Continually being able to work with my intuition and the universe, gives me the answers I need.
Bringing understanding
Being able to write about my disabilities and bring those together so I can understand 'me' has brought about understanding that I could never have had, giving me the tools to emotionally tackle the issues of what I've had to deal with.
I use my blog as a tool and that allows me to reflect on my disabilities, my life and my experiences, for others too on what they get to deal with.
I can definitely relate to what you're saying, as people seem to think I don't have the issues I have, that they aren't in my head.
I have spent a lifetime trying to perfect the art of appearing 'normal' so I wouldn't be ridiculed and harassed like I was as a child. People get the impression I'm always cool, calm, and collected which I have to pretend to be, to avoid the physical issues that I have when I'm stressed out.
Not everyone I'm in touch with, understand me, or know what it's like.
Thanks Randy. I understand you, because I understand myself. But that's an issue for those who don't understand, or simply choose not to understand.
It's a matter of priorities. If people took the time to get to know or wanted to understand what you dealt with, it wouldn't be difficult to work out.
We have to want to know, to help and be there as a support. I am sure there have been times when you've known of someone who has needed your help and you've been happy and able to help.
I go back to Covid-19 because it should be teaching us to act and be a support for those who need it.
I agree with you that while a diagnosis explains the symptoms, it doesn't change what you have to deal with day to day, which is why it is so important that you continue with your blog, so that you can reflect on your experiences and feelings.
We also get to benefit greatly from your blog too, thank you.
Thanks. Yes, I am still learning something new about myself every day. I don't want to stop trying, or learning more about myself, because each day I feel better and it is good for my mental health.
No matter what we deal with and I don't believe we never have something, you can't put a price on your mental health. My blog deals with mental health issues.
I am so pleased you think my blog is something we can all benefit from.