You may have come to understand – often to a personal cost – that people enter your lives for different reasons. Some will show you exactly what you want, or don’t want. The truth is, not everyone will have your back – not often something you can change.
The decisions they make, whether it's through control, influence, or manipulation may not always align with what's best for you. At first, you may go along with them, believing they have your best interests. But over time, you will start to notice patterns – when you see how certain choices and behaviours aren't right. That discomfort is a lesson, guiding you to recognise what isn’t healthy and for you to choose a different path. That is a lesson in itself.
When it comes to decisions that include you, it can be painful, especially when those decisions are used as a form of control or manipulation. In other cases, someone may exclude you to make you feel small, to punish you, or to create power imbalances in a relationship. This kind of behaviour can often be subtle, making you question your worth – it's not about your worth.
But it is worth remembering that exclusion as a tool for control is a reflection of the other person’s need for power, not your value. Recognising these patterns helps you to set boundaries and surround yourself with those who do respect and appreciate you.
When you're faced with a situation that changes the way you think about things, it can become easier to define what you want. It's an opportunity for you to stand firm, in what you know to be right for yourselves. Decisions not made in your interest can lead you to a better version of 'you', as long as you're willing to learn from them, just so long as you don't take it personally.
“If this article speaks to you today, know that you’re not alone – many of us have walked this path too.”
