Science shows it is our thoughts on the things that happen to us that have the biggest impact on how we feel and how we will go on to act on those things. Thoughts don’t just apply to the big events that happen in our lives, but to the small events too. Our initial thinking on an event that is negative, isn’t always as accurate as we think.

To understand our thinking, we need to be aware of our thinking patterns, because it is those patterns that will have the most impact on our behaviour and on our relationships with others. Being aware of those patterns has been scientifically proven to have a positive impact on us.

It takes practice to change our thoughts so they become more accurate. For example, when bad things happen to us, our first thinking goes to the event itself, because it is the event that drives the emotions ,on how we feel. It’s never the events that cause our reactions, but our initial thoughts in response to those events. It is often the reason why our initial thoughts are sometimes inaccurate.

Negative events will drive strong emotions and reactions from us. There is now strong evidence to suggest, however that becoming skilled and learning to recognise our thoughts in response to a negative event, means we'll be best placed to put those events into perspective and will become better at managing, understanding and choosing our initial responses.

Once we understand and are aware of our responses, we will choose our reactions better. It is often when we look back that we see that is often the case.