Relationships aren’t easy, whether it’s a partnership, marriage or friendship. But it's easier if we remember that there will always be disagreements along the way. It’s the nature of how relationships work sometimes.

It matters how we handle our disagreements and ourselves, because how we handle ourselves is ultimately what determines the success of the relationship. Therefore we need to listen, to deal with criticisms and throw some give 'n' take, empathy and compassion in for good measure.

We should try to work on changing the paradigm, from one of conflict, to one of continued success. In times of stress we're too quick to abandon. The success of any relationship depends and is determined by how we conduct ourselves and how we choose to resolve any disagreements.

We come into our relationships without preparing or anticipating how we may react to each other, which can lead to a breakdown in communication and ultimately the relationship.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “Understanding relationships”

  1. This is a really useful blog. This is all eminently sensible.

    I wonder how many of us actually take a step back to really think about how we conduct ourselves in relationships, rather than just blaming the other person for our own problems?

    1. Thank you. Yes, personally I've never approached a relationship like that, but you're right, I don't think we do. From an early age I was constantly aware of relationships and how they could go wrong, so I am aware of how to adjust the sails so to speak.

      My problems are my problems, I don't choose to inflict those on anyone, I deal with them, but those close to me must be sensitive to what I deal with, so that I can help myself work on my differences.

      Having been born with a disability automatically makes me different, there's no getting away from that. But we must learn to embrace other people's differences and where there are no emotional differences, work on give 'n' take in that relationship.

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