If someone were to tell you that you are responsible for your own stress, you would probably laugh or shrug it off. You may even get cross, after all who wants to be told they are the reason for their own stress?
How many of us are open to the idea that stress is self-generated? Others will contribute to our stress, and although we don’t have control over their behaviour, we do have control over how we deal with stress.
This may be seen as something negative, but it’s actually quite constructive. Anything that makes us self-aware is a good thing, but we must also make ourselves aware of where our stressors are coming from, so that we acknowledge and accept we can do something about those. Addressing stress is important.
Internal stressors can include our inability to control a particular outcome, uncertainty, our reaction to uncertainty, and in certain cases, depression. Beliefs are a factor, as are our opinions and expectations, particularly the expectations we put upon ourselves.
External factors play their part, but it’s up to us to be responsible, and understand where those external factors are coming from and why. External factors mean stress will be present, but with the right attitude, we can control just how much we let in.
Initially I was going to say that I disagreed with this as stress is sometimes imposed on us by external changes, but having read your blog a few times I agree; as it is how we react to those external influences that matters.
I knew someone who made everything someone else's problem and shifted all responsibility and stresses onto that other person. He wasn't the most popular guy in town but he lived to an old age!
Unfortunately and you're right, as is often the case; those kind of people make other people the scapegoat and take the burden of responsibility off themselves, which ties in with what you say about this type of person living to a ripe old age.
That said, it's what we carry emotionally that makes the difference between us staying well and getting ill. I believe external influences (because there are so many) will always cause us more stress than the stress we cause ourselves.
Of course and I agree with you that how we react to external influences is an important factor in reducing and limiting our stress.
I agree we are responsible for our own stress, but it's very difficult not to allow external factors to stress us out, especially if they affect us in a negative way.
We are always going to feel some level of stress, after all we are built with feelings. We have the choice to just dwell on it, or try to find a way so it won't affect us as much or not at all.
You're absolutely spot on in your response; and I agree. Thanks Maria.
I totally believe it. I see it in my daughter. She stresses herself out and gets so agitated she is blind. Then she wants to blame others for it.
Thanks Lisa. It's always much harder when we deal with something that causes us to behave in a way that becomes inappropriate. When we're constantly stressed, we cope even less.
It's easier when we are able to deal with our issues singularly, but unfortunately and from my own experiences problems come in 3's! That's a lot of stress we have to deal with.