We Need An Altogether Different Attitude

For years, we have been told that we need more mental health awareness. I live with autism, and mental health is something I’ve had to navigate as a consequence. To some extent I think we all do. Anxiety, depression, a concern, a worry: mental health doesn't fit into neat, or tidy boxes.

Mental Health Charities run yearly campaigns, awareness days, awareness weeks and awareness months. Yet despite all of this awareness, many people fail to understand themselves, or know how to capitalise on their mental health.

The problem isn't that we don't know mental health exists. We know. The problem is many don't think about mental health or understand what it creates if we continue to ignore the signs. The outcome can be devastating – a life full of physical and mental health struggles.

Mental health doesn't exist in isolation. It can touch every corner of our lives, affecting our health, our choices, our relationships and our ability to cope. If left unaddressed, the consequences can be profound and, sometimes, irreversible.

For some, the struggle becomes so overwhelming that it can ultimately cost them their life.

We can recognise anxiety, stress, depression or burnout. We know the names. We know the symptoms. We know the statistics. But ask someone why they think the way they do, why they react the way they do, or why certain situations affect them so deeply, and the answers become less clear.

Mental health doesn't begin with a diagnosis. It begins with an experience.

The experience that taught us whether we were safe or unsafe. The experience that knocked our confidence. The experience that influenced our self-worth. The experiences that taught us whether our voice mattered.

Many of the emotional struggles we face in adulthood are connected to lessons we gleaned in childhood, long before we had the language to understand them. Yet society tends to focus on the outcome rather than the journey.

We discuss anxiety, but not the fear that sits beneath it. We discuss depression, but not always the losses that contributed to it. We discuss confidence, but not always the years of criticism that damaged it. We discuss resilience, but not always the adversity that made it necessary.

Awareness tells us mental health matters. Understanding tells us why.

The distinction is important because understanding creates compassion, not just for others, but for ourselves. When we choose to understand the experiences that shape us, we stop viewing our emotional responses as personal failures and begin to see them as information.

We stop asking, “What's wrong with me?” and start asking, “What happened to me?” Or perhaps even more importantly, “What did I learn from what happened to me?”

Those questions can change everything.

Mental health is not simply about managing symptoms. It is about understanding the beliefs, experiences and emotional patterns that shape our lives. Awareness may start the conversation, but understanding is what moves it forward.

What we need now is not more awareness. What we need is a deeper understanding of ourselves. Because when we understand ourselves, we understand how to help ourselves. 

And that may be one of the most important mental health conversations we're still not having.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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