If you had the opportunity to turn back the clock what would you change? I suppose to answer that question depends at what point in our life we're asked and how we feel about our past.
If you asked me that same question 7 or 8 years ago, I would have had given you a different answer, but realistically I’m not sure that if any of us turned back the clocks things would change, or we’d be any more equipped to deal with our lives, so the outcomes would be the same. Without our past though, there is no understanding and without our understanding there are no possibilities for us to change things.
If I were to turn back the clock, I would want to understand my life earlier, so I could have been more prepared to deal with what I’ve had to live through, but others will have had to make changes too for anything to change. By the time we’ve understood and learned what it is we’re supposed to learn, time and our lives have already moved on.
Perhaps then, there’s no real point in turning back the clock, unless everyone else does the same and wants to change. That way we will all make significant changes together that help us shape better relationships with each other.
If I had an opportunity to turn the clock back, I'd see a young man who's greatness is hidden from his awareness and I'd show him a thing or two.
But I wouldn't change too many things, because it may change who I am today.
Thanks Tim. I would like to think that if we had the opportunity to turn back the clock, our lives could have been easier, but I still believe you'd be grounded enough to be who you are.
It's up to us how we choose to behave. We make a choice.
If I could, I would change the extent to why I was 'complaint' in some of my relationships as I feel guilty that I towed the line to be accepted and to fit in.
This wasn't me, as I was always so independent and self sufficient. I now look back at those times and realise that I lost a lot of time and memories, neither of which can be replaced. I know people try to convince me that sometime we have little choices as others make those choices for us; but I don't agree.
I look back and I blame myself for allowing that to happen.
I spent a large chunk of my life thinking in the same way as you, but would have to have walked away from those relationships, because it was the only way things would have changed.
When no one apologises for the life we end up having to live, there is an enormous amount of guilt we carry. It's always harder the more independent we are, so I can see why you're so angry about it.
I carried buckets of the stuff throughout my childhood, but when I slowly began to look at the bigger picture, I began to see that none of the things I was carrying, belonged to me. They were things that had been done to me. I believe there is a difference.
None of this changes your circumstances, but the guilt you have, isn't yours. You're hurting yourself more by continuing to think you could have done something. The sad reality for the majority of us, is that we became compliant because we often have no choice, but we convince ourselves we had a choice.
No one should need to convince you, you need to convince yourself that you didn't have a choice From what you say, I know you couldn't. Now you must see it for yourself. All you can do now is change where you go from here and make things right for yourself and for your own family. What's done is done.
It's really time for you to drop the guilt, because as I see it, the guilt isn't yours but you're living your life as if it is.