There is nothing wrong with you caring, but expecting others to care because you care, may not happen.
You'll know when it's time not to care and it's time to let go, when:
Good, solid relationships shouldn't feel strained, or difficult. Instead, focus on what you can control. You'll know in your gut if the relationship's not working. When you have to try too hard, when the relationship begins to feel too strained, stressful, when you're having to do all the running and everything about the friendship becomes a challenge, you'll know just what to do. To stop caring, you'll need to make changes to your belief system.
Unburden yourself
Not caring doesn't make you heartless, or mean-spirited, but rather freeing from the burden of needing to please others, and not feel guilty about it.
Not Everyone is Worth your Time
It is worth remembering that not everyone is worth your time, energy and support. You usually do that at the cost of your own mental health. Be honest... the truth is we are the one that's worth our time, energy and support.
Given that you have spoken over the years about your experiences, this blog clearly relates to what you've been through. You've come through the other end stronger for it and through this understanding you will be able to let go.
I am sure many will resonate with your words. I have learned to let go of a lot of other people's deceitful behaviour, I struggled with. It's never too late to free ourselves from the feelings of guilt which aren't ours to own in the first place.
Thanks, yes 57 years is a lot of years. As you say, it's not our guilt to own, if it were it would be half the battle.
The reality is that no matter our experiences and what we're made to experience, it doesn't get those others off the hook. The deed is done and that can never be taken back. I think in many respects that helps us also let go.
I shall never stop at righting a wrong, but I shall do it in a balanced, fair and measured way. Those others must take responsibility for their actions.
Letting go isn't something I'm good as I was constantly forced to let go of the things I valued as a child; I never had much of a choice.
I was brainwashed into taking care of other people's needs before my own, which I finally realized yesterday, when I almost got into an argument, whilst trying to pick up a free air conditioner for my girlfriend's daughter, when they had the money to buy their own.
My point being that when I was a kid, I was forced to feel guilty for doing anything for myself but rewarded for doing everything for everyone else which turns out to be such a thankless job.
It is definitely time to let go of that idea seeing as most people never appreciate my efforts at all and actually complain that I'm not doing enough. I need to focus on living my own life and making myself happy for a change, since no-one else is going to do it for me.
Thanks Randy. I am sure your last sentence holds true for many people.
You must focus on your own life; but even if you were to focus on someone else, make sure you don't leave yourself out. I think there's a lesson in there for all of us.
We tend to hold on to our relationships for fear of the unknown, but it is better going into the unknown, than it is to put up with a relationship that isn't working, particularly if you have had to deal with abuse.