I wonder how many of us have spent our entire lives pleasing family just so that we fit in, just so we're accepted, nurtured, understood and cared for? It's sometimes expected. It was something I did constantly.

Growing up with a disability, there were two parts of me. One part of me was angry and that surfaced most of the time, I was constantly to blame for everything when things went wrong. The other side of me aimed to please.

Why do we have to please others? We should be able to please ourselves. I would go out of my way to please. I learned a lot in those years. I learned that I didn't need to say yes all the time. I also learned that others should be accepting, and if that doesn't happen, then it's okay for us to walk away.

I also learned that we cannot change others, only ourselves. Although my experiences have been difficult, I now make better choices on who I please.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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