We will stop questioning ourselves when we start believing in ourselves. We question ourselves because we lack the confidence to believe in ourselves. It’s a vicious circle.

Believing in ourselves is another way of saying we have confidence. When we have the confidence, we’re telling ourselves and the world we can do this. But without self-belief we will fail on confidence and without the confidence we will lack courage, strength and self-motivation.

I can’t remember a time when I stopped to question myself in that way. There were too many injustices going on. Sadly, we can spend a lifetime questioning ourselves, when it's not always about us. Therefore, we should question others, more than we question ourselves.

It’s important to think about why and look at our lives again and re-evaluate where we are. It’s always easier to question and point the finger at ourselves, than it is to point and apportion the blame back on to someone else. We do it because guilt has nowhere else to go.

Unless others are open and honest about their motivates, they shall continue to point the finger, instead of accepting they’re the ones at fault. Although I was aware of the things I struggled with and continued to carry guilt on those things, unconsciously I was aware of the bigger picture.

Perhaps that’s why I didn’t bother to question or point the finger at myself. I was too aware of the parts played by others.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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