We would have to have our eyes closed not to see someone that presents with wilful behaviour. Even if it's not obvious at first, it quickly becomes obvious and is often difficult to avoid. When it happens in families, it's more difficult to understand.

Wilful behaviour is calculating, it's behaviour that if that person had their time again would do the same thing again. Wilful is not premeditated. It is usually brought about through unconscious thoughts, but for anyone who presents with wilful behaviour it is something that can span decades.

Someone who is wilful is determined to do what they want, it’s done or expressed deliberately, and with the intention of causing harm, made worse when what that person does, is done over a period of years, and it’s not accepted or acknowledged it was the wrong thing to do.

That person knows their behaviour will cause the most harm, and on the part of those on the receiving end, they're often powerless to act.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “Wilful Behaviour”

  1. Deliberately setting out to harm someone intentionally, either through words or deed should not be tolerated.

    This should be seen as an amber light in any relationship that things are not right and need addressing.

    1. Thanks. Yes, agreed. It's also difficult when you're in the thick of it to understand what wilful behaviour looks like.

      Often it may only when someone points it out that you understand that what it is. But it's anything that is deliberate or intentional.

      Unless someone is kind, caring and compassionate, and you recognise those 'spiritual' traits, other behaviour may be seen as wilful.

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