Unless we walk a mile in another person’s shoes, we can never know what that person struggles with, but that shouldn’t stop us from trying to help.
It goes back to our core values and what we’re taught as children. We don’t start out with empathy or compassion, but we can develop those qualities if we choose to.
Putting others first shows others we’re selfless, as long as we’re doing it for good reason. It may be an attention seeking, or approval issue. We may learn from a small age that the way for us to gain approval from others, is for us to do what they want.
If more of us were selfless we'd live better lives, the world would be safer, and we would all get on better. We would give back. Putting others first doesn’t mean we deny ourselves of our own needs, we can do both. But if our core values are at the heart of our relationships, those relationships will prosper.
We should want to do what’s right. It should be instinctive, in us, part of our core values and a sense of who we are. That’s where we’re going wrong. Over the years, core values have continued to change and decrease in value and we’re not doing anything to turn that around.
All the values you mention are fundamental to our growth and to successful relationships. They form part of the code we need to live by.
While we all programmed by our childhood influences, we can all change that once we see the need to change and recognise that we can change.
Yes, I believe we all need to change, where we can do better, but there are those who won't admit they need to or can change. I think my site has proved and continues to prove how we can change. But as you fundamentally say, we have and must recognise our own need for change.
Without having worked through the process myself all those years ago, this site wouldn't exist. I believe we're all responsible for ourselves, but until we stop passing the buck, blaming and looking to others to make our lives right, we will never take control for ourselves.
Our core values are the foundations of life. We cannot fundamentally live together peacefully without it.