"It's two years to the day since I lost you. As I continue to sit down to write, I am enveloped by a quiet stillness, a space filled with echoes of what was and what physically can never be again. This is not just another day; it’s another year, another painful milestone, a twin loss that has left me with a whirlwind of emotions – leaving me alone.

The first year was a blur: the days rolled into one another, filled with a surreal numbness. Two years in and I'm in a different place now, but the waves still come – the sadness – the silence, how our lives together unfolded.

Since you left, 'writing through the silence' I am learning to channel my thoughts in quiet reflection. I am finding peace in solitude, where I sit in quiet contemplation and write."

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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