With parental encouragement, children can think and dream about their own futures. Children should be encouraged to dream, to know what their potential is and to be encouraged to achieve it.

Encouragement

Not only does potential encourage wider thought, but it encourages children to be confident, independent and be more in control of their lives.

By the time I had reached my thirties, I hadn’t achieved anything. It was when my mum became terminally ill and she told me my birth was difficult that I intuitively understood, she was 'opening the door' for me to find out about my disability.

No encouragement and lowered expectations

Without encouragement, we may have low expectations of ourselves, which means it's not so easy to pick ourselves back up. Some children may go through their childhood and believe what they're told without question.

Others may think about what they're being told and may question everything. When we have low expectations, we almost have to talk ourselves into believing that we can achieve and aspire to our dreams and goals.

My first goal was to find out what I had been dealing. I wanted my second goal to be my education, and at the point of diagnosis, I wanted my third goal to be setting up and running my own website. I wanted my fourth goal to have my book published. I am immensely grateful to have achieved all of my goals.

Changing expectations

I believe anyone can change their expectations, but first we need to learn how to change. A different approach to managing and raising our expectations is needed. For that to happen, we need to make sure that our goals and dreams are not beyond our reach, but within it.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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6 comments on “Expectations”

  1. 'Beilieve it, achieve it,' is that what you're saying?

    Growing up I believed that I'd be a surgeon, but my hands were not steady enough. In 8th grade I believed that I'd be a great Professional chef, but I was not good with a knife.

    1. I have always believed we all have different strengths. I wasn't particularly good at maths in school so I wouldn't push myself to become a Nuclear Scientist; it just wouldn't have been achievable.

      It's important for us all to believe that we can achieve what we choose to achieve, but what we want to achieve has to be reasonable, within our reach and achievable to us. It's a matter of finding out what works.

  2. My 18 month old daughter was just diagnosed with mild CP and I want to do everything I can to help her be the best that she can be. Do you have any advice for me?

    She has been in OT and PT since she was 7 months old until she had to see an Orthopedic for her foot when he said he thought she had CP.

    1. Sarah I would be grateful if you still want my help to contact me using the Contact form. I hope things with you are okay.

  3. I never had any expectations growing up.

    The only expectation that my parents had was that I would get the same education as my older brother. In that respect I was lucky as it meant I could do pretty much whatever I chose to do, without too much interference and I did.

    1. You're very lucky in that your experiences on your education turned out to be more than positive. I am sure like many of us, there will have been other elements where you wish other things in your childhood had been done differently.

      It's part of life, although at the time as a parent, we often believe we're making the right choices for our family.

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