Something inspirational:
"From the very beginning you are being told to compare yourself with others. This is the greatest disease; it is like a cancer that goes on destroying your very soul because each individual is unique, and comparison is not possible. I am just myself and you are just yourself. There is nobody else in the world you can be compared with."
OSHO
We are conditioned from an early age to behave in certain ways, by reference to how others behave and this is not always a positive thing.
I think there is a balance to achieve though as we do learn through looking at others, but this must be channeled positively and not used as a negative tool.
You're absolutely right. Negative behavior is always used as a tool for others to be negative and that is then brought into their own relationships.
I understand your comment about achieving a balance. If we behave in appropriate ways and choose to always do what's right, there would be very little balance to achieve for all of us. We usually have to achieve a balance when compromises have to made because of people's behavior and/or character traits. We tend to have to meet people half way, just to get on with them and that's not right. No one should have to work that hard at their relationships.
I have never compared myself and choose not to make comparisons between me or anyone else. I have always worked on the assumption that I am who I am. Because of my beliefs, I have always accepted others for who they are and hope that in return they accept me and let me be who I choose to be.
I have to agree with this quote. We are individuals and are unique in that way, but I feel we need to learn the art of acceptance, so that we accept each other without overstepping the mark, or crossing those boundaries. This is why so many relationships fail.
You are very right! Individuality is becoming more rare. I would rather be "Mason Wild" than anyone else.
Welcome to the site Mason.
I totally agree. In this society it is something of a rarity, but I believe that peer pressure, the need for acceptance and fitting in are all responsible.
It's also something that's not being taught at home or in school. The less individual we are the more we will continue to try to fit in to other people's lives.
I know that I spent the majority of my childhood with my family being compared to others, which made for a very difficult childhood. It has been a very difficult habit to break, since I learned it all too well.
The AA program has taught me a lot about learning how to understand people rather than comparing them. I'm hoping to do much better with it in the future.
I think parents sometimes have a habit of comparing their children and then comparing their children with other children's friends academically.
That happened a lot when I was growing up and although it would be easy to do the same with my own children now, I have consciously made an effort not too.
As habits are made, they can be broken... we just have to want to change things and then change.
I used to compare my life with my friends because they had more than me, but I soon learned that yes they had more 'stuff' I had more love and family caring.
My mother used to tell me not to compare myself with others. I had all that I needed and anything else would just be junk. I would continue to compare myself with friends. They were prettier and skinnier and popular, but they were also lonelier.
It's a child thing, very hard not to compare ourselves to other children. We tend to notice all the things we're not, compared to all the things they are and seem to have.
I didn't buy into that myself, probably because I was too wrapped up in all of my CP problems. I would withdraw for days at a time, so never drew on comparisons.
I have to agree with your mom Lisa. She had some very wise words, although I understand that at that age it's not so easy to let go.