"Living with a Disability I Didn't Know About and Learning to Speak My Truth"
We tend to ignore our tone and how we communicate with others, but we shouldn’t because how we communicate is the catalyst and key to respect and trust in our relationships.
Our tone, style and voice for how we communicate is important, because what we say is ingrained and permanent. Conversations aren’t something you can just undo. Tone shapes not only what you say, but how you carry what you say.
Get your communication wrong and it colours people’s perceptions of you, how they will perceive and receive your message. How you express yourself must be carefully thought of and cultivated as part of your style, who you are. It’s up to you to decide how others see you.
But the key to any successful communication is being able to communicate with truth and integrity and for what you say to be authentic. Conversations must be aligned with universal values. Without those values in place, you will struggle to move forward.
It is important to be trustworthy, responsible, loyal and respectful. What you say must always be aligned with truth. And when how what you say is not aligned with truth, what follows will always stick like mud.
Communicating is one of many things I'm not very good at seeing, as I grew up with parents who didn't want to hear most of what I had to say, unless it was something that would benefit them.
I'm sure that you can relate, seeing as it sounds like you had very similar parents who didn't really communicate very well with you either, as far as what was really going on.
Both of my parents were master manipulators, so I learned from the best even though it wasn't how I wanted to be. It was a communication style that forced me to overthink everything, in order to not rock the boat, which eventually makes you neurotic about having even the simplest of conversations.
I'm sure that's why I have stayed in my current relationship for this length of time, since it's pretty much the same dynamics. It's the simple matter that it's easier to deal with the devil you know, even though it is such a toxic and unhealthy relationship.
I'm sure this is a primary cause of my extremely high blood pressure. I usually can't communicate directly with her without causing a hurricane, so I have to decide on which one of us has to go.
I'm not very good at confrontations and she doesn't want to hear most of what I have to say so that pretty much limits my options.
The one thing I can say in my own defence, is that I have been practicing direct communication with people in the past few months and I'm amazed at how well it actually works.
Now if I can just keep up this momentum I have built up, my life is going to greatly improve.
Thanks Randy. I think you're good enough, more than good enough. You must believe you're good enough.
You have already been practising direct communication and being amazed at how well it works, it's clear you're doing well.
When anyone pulls us down long enough we begin to think we're not good enough. Perhaps it's time to rethink the unthinkable.
You're more than capable and up to the job of communicating with whoever you choose.