Up until my autism diagnosis was confirmed I was aware of my symptoms and how I presented, but I had no diagnosis on my neurological inconsistencies.
Cerebral Palsy and Autistic Characteristics
Through researching autism caused by cerebral palsy-related brain damage and my consultant's findings, I now better understand the differences between my cerebral palsy and autistic traits.
Cerebral palsy affects my ability to think abstractly, imagine possibilities, and be flexible in my thoughts. Meanwhile, my need for routine, difficulty handling change, struggles with meeting new people, challenges in unfamiliar environments, and black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinking are due to autism.
My Unusual Sensory Processing
I also understand my unusual sensory processing. I experience both over-and under-sensitivity, struggle with multitasking, and find it difficult to process multiple pieces of information at once. My brain often takes longer to process sensory inputs, and when there's too much information, it can lead to sensory overload, causing anxiety and brain fog. To manage this, I try to avoid overwhelming situations.
Other added Complications of Autism
I have problems with sight, smell, hearing and touch. As a result of over-sensitivity to touch I struggle with light and deep pressure touch and with certain textures like brillo pads and textured fabrics, although there are certain textures that feel comforting. I also have problems with spatial perception. I also struggle with guttural sounds and loud noises.
Lastly, I meet the criteria of having Autism Spectrum Disorder (based on the assessment criteria of the DSM-5 scale) which is commonly called Asperger Syndrome. My Consultant has scored me 108 out of a possible 240, with scores above 65 being indicative of Autism.
It's great that you have a diagnosis which explains you and your experiences, but equally appalling that you had to wait 55 years to find out.
You can finally make sense of your life. For those who are no longer around to answer for the way they dealt with you, perhaps they are pleased for you that you have finally a diagnosis.
I'm not sure what my parents would think and I agree. It is rather appalling that I've had to wait 55 years. I'm lucky that my spiritual beliefs were always strong enough to carry me through.
Even though I had anger issues through my not knowing, I conformed and that made it easier for them. Given my life it would have been easy for me to throw in the towel.
But there was always something inside of me that wasn't quite prepared to give up. Looking at what I have now with a successful website, I know why.