"Growing up around a disability I didn’t know I had meant I lived with uncertainty, because I had no understanding on what I was dealing with. While I continued to struggle with my mental and emotional struggles, I also had to deal with uncertainty around a physical disability I didn't know I had, which made each day an uphill battle. I found it difficult to integrate into school life and didn't have many friends.
Because uncertainty was the norm, I stagnated and retreated into myself for months and that rolled into years. I needed to thrive. Leaving home, I was unprepared for the life that was to come.
As parents, it’s their job to make sure their children aren’t stressed, or pushed to excel. Children should be able to cope with life outside of the parental constraints. It’s a parent’s job to teach their children to problem-solve, how to look at problems objectively, how to think creatively, to consider what works and what doesn’t. Providing children with answers all the time doesn’t help create independent thinkers.
Understanding how cause and effect works, is a necessary life skill for both children and adults. Learning about consequences, understanding how to manage and deal with change, is also another necessary life skill. Learning how to deal with emotions helps with uncertainty. It is important children’s feelings are validated, regardless of how trivial they may seem. I got nothing. At their age, our emotions were just as validating."
As a child I remember being very cautious with uncertainty, but my parents steered me gingerly. I was lucky in that regard because I had a foundation rooted under me, which allowed me to confront uncertainty more bravely.
It can be intimidating when children are dealing with too many versions of the same world.
Children dealing with two many versions of the same world is also seriously frightening and challenging.
Gingerly is good. We have time to think about things, we have chance to do forge ahead and be cautious, with care.
It is hard enough being a child, half the battle if parents do steer their child, even gingerly. Anything that children have to deal with is a continual challenge.
Challenges as an adult can be difficult enough, even more so when as a child, you're relying on your parents to show you the way and for their support.