Something inspirational:
"All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for... reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration."
CASEY STENGEL
Proud to have reached my 3,000th post.
Yes, I have been blaming others for how my life was, but the reality is that I made a lot of bad choices, which I have to learn how to live with.
My main weakness as pointed out to me, is how much of a sucker for a sob story and a pretty face, when I made the mistake of trusting my daughter's Aunt and it turned out she was absolutely crazy.
I have to deal with making the right choices for me this time, instead of being so worried about what others think, which usually gets me into trouble.
I need to concentrate on myself, seeing as I am running short on time to enjoy what time I have left!
We have no reason to doubt until we have reason to doubt. And those reasons aren't always made clear to us in the beginning.
Choices we make on the back of other people's control, we have a right to blame others for those, but there are situations where it's wrong to blame others.
We cannot blame someone when the person in front of us is clearly not to blame but by association we continue to blame, because the person we have a gripe with, doesn't want to know or won't take responsibility.
We cannot also blame, when we become a consenting adult, continue to make mistakes and still blame others for our mistakes, instead of taking control.
Of course, the only thing blame does is to keep the focus off us when we are looking for reasons to explain our unhappiness or frustration.
There comes a time when we must stop using blame as a means of control elsewhere, particularly when we're pointing the blame at someone other than the person we have a gripe with.
It's always easier to blame, rather than shine the torch on our behaviour and sort ourselves out.
I understand but don't agree with this quote. Of course blaming someone won't change us, but in identifying who is responsible and accepting that we probably couldn't have prevented it, takes the burden away from us and that can be part of the healing process.
Congratulations in reaching your 3000th post. You should be very proud of your milestone.
Thank you. I couldn't have got to my 3,000th milestone without everyone's support. This is for everyone else too.
Thank you. Yes, to me the quote isn't saying don't identify who is responsible, or take the burden away from yourself for the things you couldn't change.
What I believe it's saying is, don't continue to blame... because whilst you're continuing to blame you will never focus on the things you need to change for yourself, even if that other person doesn't take responsibility.
The more we take the onus off us or don't look to ourselves to put our own lives right, or correct things for ourselves, the less we will take responsibility.
The healing process is accepting we couldn't have done anything else to change our circumstances and that we did what we could.
Instead, we tend to reinvent the wheel, then continue to blame ourselves, which gets the other person off the hook.