At the age of 46, I began the journey of piecing together my life and understanding my disability. This process involved revisiting my past experiences with great care.

I have always been sensitive to the energies of others, even when they are not physically present or directly in touch with me. For those unfamiliar with the nuances of psychic readings, I would like to clarify the distinction between mediums and psychics.

Medium vs. Psychic

Mediums serve to connect individuals with their loved ones who have passed away. Their primary role is to convey messages from those in the spirit world, often with a focus on deceased family members. While they might occasionally provide insights about spirit guides, their main intention is to deliver information about loved ones who have transitioned. This connection was especially meaningful for me, as being able to communicate with my mother in spirit was important.

On the other hand, a psychic primarily tunes into an individual’s life circumstances and personal challenges. Their purpose is to offer support and guidance regarding the issues that you may be facing. Regrettably, I never had the opportunity to discuss my disability with my mother while she was alive.

My Mum in Spirit

The psychic reading I experienced was particularly significant as it marked the first time I had "spoken" with my mother since her passing. Through this reading, I felt reassured that she is aware of everything I have expressed about my life. It became clear that my disability was an issue that needed acknowledgment and support, which I had not received.

Finding Understanding

Understanding one another's struggles is vital. When someone claims that your difficulties are merely a product of your time, it only stands true if you accept that narrative. As my journey illustrates, when the challenges we face are left unaddressed, they risk being overlooked entirely.

Growing Up with Something

Throughout my childhood, my mental and emotional struggles, stemming from what I later learned was a disability, were often disregarded. In school, these challenges manifested as low grades, which were simplistically attributed to “Oh, it’s just Ilana.”

Cerebral Palsy: A Story

In my book, Cerebral Palsy: A Story 'Finding the Calm After the Storm' I delve deeply into my experience growing up with a disability that I didn't know I had. This book serves as a self-contained exploration, allowing me to gain a better understanding of my condition.

The truth is that because my condition was mild, there was little reason to bring it to light. Consequently, I was treated similarly to my siblings with no special accommodations, which ultimately shaped my experience.

The Psychological Cost of Trauma

I recognise that without this journey of reflection, I might never have written about my disability or created my website. While I have much to be thankful for, I also acknowledge that this journey comes with a bittersweet reality: trauma carries a psychological toll that cannot be ignored.