"Living with a disability isn't easy. But living with symptoms you know you have, but know nothing about is even harder. Knowing you have symptoms and not understanding your symptoms or struggles are even harder still.

A disability brushed under the carpet, buried and never spoken about, meant I would never get to talk about my physical or neurological difficulties growing up. It's not what any child with a disability should have to go through.

The CP Diary gives me an outlet to talk about my experiences, and to talk and place about things that are happening in the wider world. Away from my diary, my disability is still buried and not spoken about. I need to get my head around the fact that may never change. That what I had as a child, is what I still have now. Righting a wrong on my experiences and I couldn't be happier, particularly poignant also that I have the backing of the universe to do it."

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “A Disability Buried”

  1. No ones disability should be dismissed or ignored. Irrespective of the circumstances I believe that is abuse.

    That said there is nothing to be gained from looking back, or wishing things would have been different, all you can do is find a place for it, move on and use your experiences for the positive.

    That is exactly what you have shown us to do and perhaps that is the reason you were subject to this experiences in the first place.

    1. Yes and yes. I agree with you on both. If you believe as I do, that things happen for a reason, my blog is that reason and therefore it was supposed to happen in the way it did.

      As human beings we have the ability to reconcile. My issue is the amount of years I was subjected to not knowing. Those less strong, may not emotionally have come through the ordeal as I have.

      I did have my moments, but I continued to remain as resolutely steadfast to myself as much as I could. I never allowed myself to waiver.

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