As a small child, my mum used to tell me that a leopard can’t change its spots and I grew up believing it until I became the adult. I don’t believe it’s true. I believe people can and do change.
Whilst it’s true we work from well-established patterns, it’s not true that we can’t tweak, modify or alter aspects of those patterns. We absolutely can. If we continually unconsciously choose to blame others for our problems through what they’ve done, we will never look to or change anything. The majority of time we live in denial that we have a problem. It's usually someone else with the problem.
We must first learn to observe our behaviour in an attempt to understand, find out why and see the bigger picture. We should look and at least try to understand our own role and other people’s roles, where we see ourselves in those roles and let go of the things that don't belong to us.
In my own case, I felt guilty about many things and felt even more guilt because no one took responsibility for how I felt. When I began to see that I had very little to do with the things that happened to me, I learned to let go, even though others who were responsible still never owned up to their parts. We must learn not to carry what doesn’t belong to us, but in our reality, that is exactly what we do.
We may not always get an apology, and that's fine, we don’t always have to have one. Instead, we need to understand and see the bigger picture and then learn to let go of what doesn’t belong to us.
Once we understand, it's easier to let go and change. I believe anyone can change if they want to change. From my own transformation through my writing, it’s clear a leopard can change its spots.
I've changed according to my daughter. I've become quieter, more laid back. That's the total opposite of who I used to be.
I don't know if it has come with age or I've just learned you can't have everything perfect.
Yes, it does seem possible as long as the leopard wants to change its spots. I've watched a lot of people talk about saying they're trying to change but not willing to do the work to actually change.
It has taken me a long time to really work on figuring out what baggage is mine and what has been dumped on me. It has made for so many issues that weren't mine to begin with, which has made my life extremely difficult.
These are the tapes I talk about and try to explain to people, especially my girlfriend, that keep playing in the back of my mind.
It's up to me now to figure out how to turn those off so my life is simpler.
Thanks Randy. Yes I have heard many people say the same thing too. Your last sentence I am sure will resonate with many of us. It certainly resonated with me for years until I managed to turn things around in my own life.
You're right, it is up to you to turn those 'tapes' off so that your life becomes simpler. I believe you can.
While a leopard can't change its spots, we can certainly change our perceptions, behaviour and our responses. We don't have to stay where we start off.
Thank you. Yes, Theoretically speaking, a leopard can't change its spots, but away from that people can change their perceptions, behaviour and their responses and I agree.