My early thoughts are at the forefront of my mind. I am okay with that because it enables me to revisit conversations. As children we don’t know we’re loved, until we’re told we are.

Some parents may be good at expressing how they feel, other parents may be more practical. There may be parents who struggle not only to tell their children they are loved, but to show their children that they are loved.

I remember asking mum whether she loved me. She looked at me slightly bemused that I would even think to ask, but it’s not uncommon for children to ask, because they feel secure knowing they’re loved and that encourages confidence and self-esteem. Sadly, not all children are lucky enough to be told.

A lot of what a child repeats is what they take from childhood. Telling a child you love them is something adults should do voluntarily and even if it’s not, it’s important children are told they’re loved.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “A measure of love”

  1. My roots are like rocks when it comes to being told that I was loved, I didn't dig for it either.

    Nevertheless, I accept that no one is perfect that my parents were once children with problems unknown to me. So I pretended like it wasn't a big deal, but it really was.

    1. Thanks Tim. I think your last paragraph will ring true for so many of us, me included.

      Yes, as children we're the last to know of our parents problems, why they present a certain way. We see that they do. But when we have no understanding as to why that's enormously difficult.

      But you're right pretending does not mean that it doesn't exist. Children would come to accept less in the form of 'material gain' for love particularly in the early years.

      Love promotes confidence and self-esteem, it's something we as human thrive on.How we feel starts in childhood. It's very difficult to work around mature adult relationships without having had love as a child.

      When we're not told we're loved messes it messes with our head.

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