I'm pleased I'm not seeing my children moving away from home as being a problem. I love the fact that they're independent and mature enough to want to live independent lives.

Given my own upbringing, this is a new and normal thought pattern for me and I’m happy to run with it. I am completely settled with its concept, but I’ve had to do a complete U-turn to change my thought process so that the opportunities I never had growing up, are now afforded to my children instead.

What was their permanent home is now their stop-gap home. There are the usual concerns parents have when their children leave home, but honestly I wouldn’t want it any other way. This is their life and their time, it's right.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “A new thought pattern”

  1. I agree with you. This is our children's time and their life. My two eldest have moved away and are living their own life now. My husband and I had a year or two own our own and it was nice, but I still missed my children.

    I just wish I could help them out more like my parents helped me. I think they both need to grow up some more even though they are in their mid-20's. I wish I could be there for them more, but the phone will have to do for now.

    One of them is 9 hours away and the other is about 4 hours away. Then there are the grandchildren. I wish I could be with them everyday (I haven't even got to hold the newest one yet) and be the doting grandmother like my grandmothers were.

    1. Thanks Lisa. Yes it is our children's time and their lives. Nothing stays the same... time changes things. Perhaps your circumstances will change again with your children and you'll get to see your grandchildren a little sooner.

      You're at the end of the phone and that's the important thing.

  2. I do agree very much with this post. Remember your children would not be able to do this without all of your care and guidance that has helped them grow into mature and responsible adults.

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