Something inspirational:
"Trust is rebuilt by focusing not on what the other person did or did not do but on critiquing one's own behavior, improving one's trustworthiness, and focusing attention not on words and promises but on actions, attitudes, and ways of being."
KENNETH CLOKE and JOAN GOLDSMITH
I agree with this. I think we have to trust the other person's actions just as much as their words.
Are they one way around you and a different way when they are away from you? Can you trust people when they are away from you based on past actions?
I think as individuals we all have to be trustworthy and trusting. Those two are the basic principles of any relationship.
I think if we were all of those things, there would probably be no need for your questions. I think people can be different around different people. People can also be different to your face then different again around you.
Referring to your last question Lisa I think it would really have to depend on what those past actions were.
I always have believed that actions speak louder than words, especially when the subject is love and trust.
I like this topic, it makes me do a little thinking and checking my own behaviors. I can only control my behavior and my reactions to others.
Trust has been a very hard thing for me since I grew up in a world where we had to trust people that weren't very trustworthy.
My parents were always saying one thing and doing another so it was very confusing. We were basically thrown to the wolves a lot of times and we got to see the worst of human behavior. I know at this point all I can do is focus on my own behaviors.
It would be great if I was able to trust more people in the world, but I don't really see that happening anytime soon! I just take it day by day.
I understand given your upbringing how difficult it is for you to be able to trust or know who to trust. We tend to know the friends who are trustworthy, loyal, honest etc.
I think when we get to know people, we usually have a good idea of what the relationship is about. Being pro-active also helps.
When we take control we're more likely to perceive and seek out the people we want to have in our lives. Just because some people let us down in our lives, doesn't mean everyone will.
We have to give people a chance.
I agree. I think your last sentence sums the quote up nicely and is absolutely true. We can't change how other people behave only how we perceive them and trust is an important element of both.