It is now 15 months since we went into our first lockdown in March in the UK, having initially heard about the pandemic in January 2020, and I am finally adapting to living around the Covid-19 pandemic.

A significant step

Having ordered some clothes on line that didn't fit, I arranged for those to be returned to the store by courier. We missed the courier as he arrived when we were having lunch outside, so instead of me organising another pickup, we took a trip to the store. Without thinking about the fact that I was taking a trip out, we drove to the store, to take the clothes back.

The sun was shining and it felt normal to be out. Waiting in the car, I didn’t feel anxious, even though people were walking past the car with me inside it.

My first trip out

My first trip out of the house in 15 months is a small but significant step, but I hate how through autism, it takes so long for my brain to normalise things. I want to be able to adapt, cope and think like everyone else without a disability.

It is a continuous mental and emotional battle, but this is is my reality because I deal with a disability. It mattered to me that I was able to manage to achieve a small but significant step, 15 months into the pandemic.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “A small but significant step”

  1. Well done you on taking this BIG step. I am sure as you build up more confidence about taking trips outs you will gradually feel more and more conformable about this.

    The important thing to remember is to do things at your pace and not others.

    1. Thank you and ditto on your thoughts. When I look back, I am aware of just how far I have come.

      I can only do what I can do. There is no getting away from the stigma that still affects those of us like me who deal with a disability.

      Slow or snails pace, although it works for me, doesn't always work for everyone else.

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