There comes a time in any parent’s life when it’s time to let go of their children emotionally, when their children are ready to go out to experience life for themselves.

That part isn’t easy, but is one many of us will simply take in our stride. For us it’s four months in Paris and a priceless experience. Although it’s a very different journey for parents, with the foundations already laid it’s one they must prepare themselves for.

For parents' it becomes a whole new way of life, as they learn to adapt without their child in their lives. Having adapted into a world with children, they’re adapting back into a world with each other and although that may not seem stressful, it becomes stressful as each parent learns to adapt without that child in their life for the first time.

It’s not all negative of course, because it’s always a parents’ job to make sure their children get to that stage where they’re comfortable to leave home. We must see it as a sense of achievement.

When any parent goes through the countless discussions, disagreements, the compromises that have been made, they know the foundations are being laid. It is those foundations that will bring us to this place. A job well done.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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6 comments on “Adapting to change”

  1. That's what we strive for, that our children will learn to make their own way in the world.

    Both of my older children have moved out, but they have a lot of problems facing them. One doesn't know how to find her way and the other is learning what it's like to have her own children and have a family and all the wonderful things that come with that.

    I hope I've had a positive influence on both of them and taught them well, whether they wanted to hear it or not. Life is hard and if we don't learn early how to handle it, it will eat us up.

    Glad Daniel is doing well on his trip. You've done a wonderful job with your children. I hope mine will get there someday.

  2. You have done an awesome job as a parent; your children are very fortunate to have you as their mother.

    Your children have sprung from that strong foundations you've laid.

    Kudos to you.

    1. Thanks Tim! It often takes many years for a parent to know how they've done, but it's only when they leave that we'll really know for sure.

    2. Thanks Lisa! I believe it's a time and maturity thing with children and as long as we lay the foundations, I believe they will use and go back to them. It's what they know.

      Parenting is one of the hardest jobs we'll ever do. It's not always easy to know whether we will get it right, but as long as we try and do our best and play fair with our children they will see that.

      It's often when they have their own children they see it more.

  3. I know I'm not the best with major change. I'm a bit of a chicken deep down; but I do try and embrace change when I know it's important and good for me, or for others.

    1. Yes change isn't easy, but it's great that you at least try to embrace change when you know it's important for you.

      Unfortunately when we don't adapt to change we can't emotionally grow and that needs to happen if we are to stay well.

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