As with all bereavements, life goes on after the funeral. My thoughts are calm. The mopping up process will begin next week. For now I’m taking time to chill and spend time with all my family, because as from Monday everything will change.

We’ll have to start making big decisions about clearing my parents’ home. I feel fine. My life will get back to normal but it will be a different normal and I’m okay with that.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “After the storm”

  1. Yes, it will be a different normal for you. A normal that you're not used to, but have probably looked forward to for so long. I'm so happy for you and think you'll do great.

    Having been through this process myself, it is different after a loved one is gone from this life. Things change sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. I think it depends on the situation people are in.

    We can get on with our lives or we can grieve it away. All the grieving in the world will not bring them back and even though it sounds harsh, people need to get on with their lives and only spend an appropriate time on grieving.

    The person will always be in our heart and the memories will always be there.

    Reply

    1. Thanks Lisa. Yes it is definitely a different normal with no parents in my life now, but not having to go through the struggle of watching my father struggle is why I have looked forward to this.

      I agree with you that our outlook on where we are with the loss of a loved one does make a difference. I also agree with you that they are with us in our hearts just not with us physically.

      The memories will always be there. We just have to make sure they're good memories.

      Reply

  2. Yes it will be difficult to go through stuff and decide what to keep and what to get rid of. Big job.

    When my mother passed we found if we got into the photo albums it would slow us down quite a bit. Memories are a great thing. It does help us with the grief process.

    Just take it one step at a time. You will get there.

    Reply

    1. Thanks Randy. I will do. I agree that the task ahead of us is a big job. When my mother passed only her clothes and handbags got removed from the house, so we're starting from scratch.

      I agree with that some memories do help the grieving process. I have seen how bad memories can hold us back.

      Reply

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