Something inspirational:

"It is better to be alone than to be with someone who can’t see who you are."

E. LOCKHART

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Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “An E Lockhart quote”

  1. What a great quote, Ilana. I wondered how many of your readers can resonate with this or how many it makes stop and think about their relationships?

    1. Thanks. Yes, I hope so. I think we would all be in better mental and emotional spaces, if we did.

      Too many of us stay with our partners because we're afraid of being alone, but no relationship is worth saving if it compromises who you are, your integrity.

      I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing if I wasn't me, or chosen to be someone I'm not. I am who I am with a disability and proud of it.

      I have never fitted in to other people's interpretation of who they think I am, but obviously, around a disability when you're already needing others to accept you, it can be problematic.

      As long as you're not hurting anyone else, being who you are, then others must accept that. If they don't the relationship is wrong.

  2. I wish that I had felt that way, but I was extremely co-dependent as a child, so I didn't really know anything different.

    I was emotionally used and abused in my last 13 year relationship. I had to walk away in the end just to survive. Once again I was the one who lost the most, while she got everything, but it was the only way to maintain my sanity.

    It's really not worth staying in a relationship just for the sake of being in one. I would much rather be happy and alone, than be trapped in an abusive relationship.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, When any relationship is untenable around abuse, it's right to walk away. I wouldn't advocate anyone stay, the difficulty is us recognising we are in an abusive relationship.

      I am pleased things worked out. It doesn't matter how long it takes to remove ourselves from a relationship that is abusive, what matters is we do. It takes guts and a steely determination to walk away, often difficult to do.

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