It’s accepted that when we’re little, our parents make the decisions for us, that as we grow they will encourage us to make our own decisions so that we can begin to make our own decisions, follow our own path.

If like me that didn’t happen for you, you shouldn’t feel accountable or responsible, because they're not taking responsibility for the decisions they made for you. For years, I felt I had failed. Because of the control, the interest wasn’t there, the decisions weren’t mine.

Until we’re ready to let go, the anxiety based around those decisions will always continue to haunt us. But if you're not responsible for others' decisions, it's time to let go of the guilt.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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6 comments on “An other's decisions”

  1. I agree if someone else makes decisions for us or does not enable us to make decisions for ourselves through their actions and behaviour then that person is responsible for the ramifications of that - good or bad.

    You shouldn't carry any burden or negativity for the decisions made for you when you had no real choice in the matter.

    Reply

  3. We have no control for the decisions made for us when we're young.

    I can see why one might have negative emotions for the decisions made for us as adults, because we feel we are not strong-willed to inform these persons that we can manage by ourselves.

    Reply

    1. Thanks Maria. I can see too and believe it's a confidence thing.

      For many years as the adult, through a new thought process and working on my confidence, I managed to get my point across, but unfortunately it had no effect on the person who could have changed my life.

      I think you're right.

      Reply

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