It’s easy for animosity to grow against the people who could and should have supported us, so that our lives are made easier, but didn’t. No one starts off feeling animosity without just cause. It usually comes in on the back of an injustice that fails to be corrected.
Our feelings of animosity are usually down to another person's inability to see how they've behaved towards us, but for us to handle it, we must first detach our emotions. What they've done to us, isn't about us, it's about them and what they have failed to do.
When we take out a reaction, we become more focused on writing a wrong, without bringing anger into the equation. Unfortunately, if not dealt with quickly; animosity can turn into anger, which distances people further, particularly when the anger becomes deep routed.
Animosity can also turn into bitterness, resentment, hatred and self-loathing and will slowly begin to affect our view of the world as that view slowly becomes distorted. With animosity we will fail to succeed, move on and can never have peace.
When we learn to take any reaction out of the equation, we will always have the opportunity to work through things including animosity and anger.
I agree. I'm fortunate and don't hold on to feelings of animosity.
I've learned those people aren't worth getting wound up over. I find a place for the nonsense, but don't easily forget without resentment and similar negative feelings like animosity.
Perhaps the next step for you would be to try to let that go. Unfortunately finding a place for the nonsense but not easily forgetting doesn't help with emotional growth.
If you're able to find a place and be okay with that, perhaps the next step for you is understanding.
When we come to understand a person's perceptions and where they are emotionally at that time, we will find it in our hearts to let go.
I believe universal justice will render its verdict without my testimony; though animosity weighs on me, I really believe that. My animosity is a bit camouflaged, to help me hide the anger boiling inside of me.
You're absolutely right Tim. The universe will always serve to pass its verdict without our permission or testimony.
It's important to try to control what we feel, but if we do struggle with animosity it's right we don't inflict animosity on others and many of us do fail at that.
I believe it's important for us to deal with any animosity, primarily so that we don't get physically ill. I have seen first hand how animosity can take a hold of us and make us ill.
I believe if an issue we carry doesn't belong to us, it's time to give it back, tactfully of course.
Animosity is something I have had a lot of experience with from a very early age. I'm pretty sure I had it even before I had any idea of what the word meant.
My parents did a great job of teaching it to us; considering how they treated each other. One minute they hated each other and the next they were shaking the walls with the noises coming from their bedroom!
Let's just say our world was confusing and disturbing on so many levels. It became very hard to feel anything but animosity towards them, with the way we were treated. We were reminded pretty much on a daily basis that the only reason they were really together was to keep us from going into foster care.
After so many years this story got old and we really had to wonder why they bothered staying together. We may have gotten separated if we had gone into foster care, but it would have been better than the hell they put us through.
Eventually I grew to have animosity towards everyone and everything so I didn't enjoy doing the whole life thing. How are you supposed to live if all you know is how to survive and/or exist? People get upset when I talk about my parents the way I do, but they didn't grow up in the world I did.
Pretty bad when I would have rather not been born, than go through what I did. Now at 47 I have to learn how to let go of the animosity so that I can finally live like other people have the luxury of doing.
Thanks Randy. I understand you completely. It's very hard to engage with life, when you're struggling with the issues of low self-worth, brought about by the way your parents raised you.
When that happens, it's easy to allow feelings of animosity to get in the way.It's a shame, because if your parents put more time and effort into understanding how you felt, you wouldn't be dealing with the animosity now.
I believe our parents don't manage it because they're not always emotionally capable. It doesn't make it right and it's no excuse, it is just what it is.