I feel as though I am emotionally being tested right now on my resilience and patience. Having gone through minor surgery twice in about a month, I am now having to consider the possibility again.
Many years ago I had a blocked hair follicle removed by a doctor who was qualified in minor surgery, but as the surgery began to heal I was left with a skin tag that every now and again becomes inflamed, red and very sore.
It makes me feel angry because it’s beginning to challenge my other thoughts too on what I deal with. I was really at a low-ebb yesterday. I didn’t want to be some one else, but just wanted to be me without my problems. As I woke this morning things seem a little brighter.
I have now managed to get a cancellation from Thursday morning for my doctor’s appointment and also managed to get a cancellation appointment to see my Dermatologist for him to decide whether to operate. I have been given antibiotics, which should reduce the pain and inflammation to some extent, but I know I’ll probably have to have the skin tag removed. The antibiotics won’t take the problem away completely.
Now the summer months are also beginning to bother me. Bizarre I know, but just the way my mind works. I want to be able to wear what other people wear. I want to be able to wear sundresses, but know that I can’t. I want to be able to wear flip-flops and sandals, but know that I can’t. I want to be able to wear cargo pants and know that I can't.
Having Cerebral Palsy, changes how I dress and my choice of clothes. The clothes that I like and would choose, I can't wear. I know this is very unlike me, because I am usually so much stronger than this.
I'm banking on tomorrow, a new day and a new thought to put me on a much more positive footing.
I feel what you feel.
I would love to wear sandals but because of my CP I cannot. I feel I have the ugliest feet anyway. As for flip flops I don't find them attractive at all and would never wear them even if I could. Flip flops are the worst fashion thing to come along in years.
As for your health just try and stay calm. I know you will get through this, you are a strong lady and hopefully your family will be there to offer you support.
I know you know what it feels like because we both have and deal with cerebral palsy. We can equate because we deal with similar problems.
I'm working on my other problem and although the problem isn't going away, I am feeling slightly stronger today.
I am sure you will be okay.
You are a very strong person, but I understand how this problem has affected you; especially as you give so much out to others, something like this can be very draining.
You are doing all the right things, getting the problem checked out properly. Hopefully you will start to feel better once the antibiotics start to work.
I guess the summertime is also hard for you and on top of your skin problem this is probably compounding how you feel.
As you say tomorrow is another day.
I've been through a lot with my health recently, but this is the worst I've felt.
I know tomorrow is another day and that this will pass. As you say, I am sure I will begin to feel better as the antibiotics start to work. It can't come soon enough!
I believe you can cope through all the difficult times that you've had.
You're a strong woman, like a rock. As you said, if we don't deal with our problems, they will hurt us more. It doesn't matter what you wear, you are still beautiful from inside out.
I am sure you are always happy as you are.
Things will get better and you'll be back to your usual bright self soon.
I'm sorry you're having difficulty like this. There are certain summer clothes that I also can't wear due to having a large bust when I was younger and now let's just say I don't have any self support!
I always have to wear a bra and I'm sure that's why I have some of my back problems. I have a horrible posture and look bent over sometimes. I hate the way I look often. I try to lift myself up but it gets tiring after awhile.
I hope you feel brighter tomorrow.
Thank you for your encouragement and moral support. I know things aren't perfect for any of us and that we all have something that we deal with.
It's lovely that we have each other to help us through those kind of days. I'm feeling slightly stronger today.
Hope you begin to feel brighter too. I am here for you.
Ria many thanks for your lovely comments. The antibiotics are finally beginning to kick in and I'm feeling slightly better this morning. The problem hasn't gone but the pain is easing up now.
Thank you for your concern and for posting.