Do you go out of your way to  please others, just so that others will appreciate and accept you? The truth is that both of those not only make us feel resentful, but make us feel unappreciated as well.

These thoughts stem from how we feel about ourselves. We start to please others so that we feel accepted, but even with acceptance we may not always feel we are accepted, because we don’t feel we’re worthy.

I believe that when we start to love and value ourselves, then others will start to love and value us too. When we are respectful of ourselves, others will show us respect.

We must pay attention to ourselves. We need to allow ourselves to feel the things we feel so that we begin to recognise and deal with our own feelings. We also need to pay attention to our subconscious, because the subconscious is responsible for all our thoughts, feelings and experiences.

When we begin to change those thoughts, we will begin to feel differently about others and about ourselves. If we're holding on to resentment and anger, we must let go of those, both of which stem from not being appreciated.

Taking responsibility and acknowledging the need for change is a good place to start. Affirmations like “I accept myself” or “I appreciate myself” is another good place to start.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Are we appreciated?”

  1. Very good post today. I relate to it very much as I have done all these things to be accepted.

    I found that when I was growing up I wanted to be accepted for who I was. I still feel that.

    People should look beyond the disability to see the person underneath. If they don't make the effort then it is not worth knowing them. You're better off without them in my opinion.

    1. I think that what you have done Randy is not dissimilar to what many of us who deal with a large or small disability have done, we want to be appreciated and accepted as we are.

      People should look beyond the disability, but even without the disability I still think there are people who struggle to be appreciated.

  2. I definitely don't feel appreciated by the one person who should appreciate me and that's my spouse. Of course I haven't asked him if he does or not, but I shouldn't have to ask him. He should let me know somehow.

    I am of course guilty of not appreciating myself and could take better care than I do. I need to take your advice and start with me. Maybe then he would treat me like he appreciates me.

    I always know I'm appreciated at work and by other family members, especially my daughter. Good post.

    1. I think work is totally different Lisa. There seems to be a common rule about being appreciative of work colleagues; no one has to ask to be appreciated at work.

      Our personal life is different and you're right, if you appreciated yourself more that would feed back to your family, particularly your spouse. I believe it's up to us.

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