The emotional baggage we carry from our childhood into our relationships is the main reason why relationships often fail.

Emotional baggage are two words that have masses of implications and is the main reason why relationships fail, particularly when we ignore the fact that we're carrying baggage and as we fail to acknowledge we even have baggage, relationships will always continue to fail.

We don't come through our childhood completely unscathed, but whereas some of us will be at least willing to accept that we have baggage, others won’t even recognise they have any. It's someone else's problem, until we recognise it as our own.

Dealing with any past issues, allows us to continue to make better choices as we continue to move forward with our lives. Without some of those past experiences, we wouldn't understand our lives now. We learn that the most important part of emotional baggage is not the baggage itself, but how we handle the baggage.

How we relate to the issues very much becomes the issues. If we deal with something in an over-reactive and unreasonable way, it stands to reason that becomes the issue, not the issue itself.

We can be forgiven for feeling badly about something we deal with, but we cannot be forgiven for how we work through our issues, particularly if other people are on the receiving end of those issues.

When we deal with baggage, we leave very little room for arguments, disagreements, or crossed words, all of which stem from baggage.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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