Regardless of my physical and emotional issues, I never allowed myself to be drawn into the 'poor me syndrome.' I’m not sure why, I just never did.

I seemed to withdraw to a place where I was calm and when I was out of that place I was angry. I didn’t equate my anger to feeling sorry for myself, although I can understand why people do.

When we take on the 'poor me syndrome' we've already subconsciously relinquished the role of taking responsibility for ourselves, whilst we continue to fail to meet our daily challenges.

Although it seems the easy way out, in effect we’re allowing those who have made us feel like that to continue to justify themselves. At the outset, we’re telling the world that we’re okay with what they've done, but the truth is we’re not okay. As we continue to feel sorry for ourselves, we never can be.

It took me some time to push myself through my own challenges. I was realistic enough to know that I couldn’t change anything as a child, and perhaps that's why I didn't succumb to the 'poor me syndrome.'

As far as my disability was concerned, although I was angry, during that time I still continued to perceive my world, as I grew up. We need to break the cycle.

As adults we have choices, but by the time we become adults, bad habits have already set in. We then apportion blame to those people who we believe put us there. We are responsible for how we see and get to deal with ourselves, as adults.

It's up to us at that point, to either choose to continue to feel sorry for ourselves or choose to change the way we think. We need to want to change and to break the cycle.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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