As a child, then the adult, the majority of us will spend our lives apportioning blame on to others and although there is often merit to how we feel, apportioning blame is not always the best way.
It's important to make ourselves aware of blame, even anger, anything that keeps us emotionally stuck. Being aware of our feelings is critical if we are ever going to change our lives. When we fail to move on from our past we will unconsciously still live and deal with blame.
I think if someone does do something that you blame them for; to me the important thing to do is not to blame and hold a grudge, but to forgive that person. I do this and I always feel better when I do.
Even if I can't tell them I forgive them face to face, in my heart I will do it.
Thanks Lisa. That's so commendable. For me it would have to depend on the circumstances and the relationship. Having been on the receiving end of so much trauma, I have to understand the problem and see the bigger picture.
It's easier when we get to see the bigger picture, but without an understanding I'm not sure whether unconsciously we're in a position to stop blaming other people, for where we are in our lives. It took me a long time to let go.
I believe though that the more that we are aware we have a problem with something like blame, the more we will try to sort the issue out. It's worth it in the longer term.
I can see why we have a tendency to apportion blame on others, as it is the easy option to side step responsibility; but that doesn't help us change and/or move on.
You're absolutely right. It also doesn't help with communication and us working on our relationships either.
I believe it's important to be aware of our behaviour, particularly when it comes to blame. We're almost always too quick to pass the buck.