To encourage is to feel and be encouraged. For those who welcome being encouraged, the encouragement they receive will never go unnoticed, contrary to what that person feels. When we're not feeling encouraged, it's easy to lose sight of what others do.

It is only when we look back that we see it. But being encouraged helps builds self-esteem and self-belief, encouragement makes us more determined, encouraged to do and give of our best. Encouragement with motivation encourages us to try when we fail, to dig deeper and to continue to strive.

With encouragement, we are empowered. Empowered to take action and be productive, positive for us in our endeavours to have and achieve success. But it doesn’t always follow that those who set out to encourage, have been encouraged themselves.

Often, those who go on to encourage, have had difficult lives and therefore come to know the importance of what it means to be encouraged and encourage.

No matter the life, those who manage to encourage, know the importance of care and because they care, they are able to encourage.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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6 comments on “Being encouraged”

  1. Encouragement is not something I recall experiencing as a child. I just got on with things and kind of co-existed with my parents.

    I was reasonably capable at school so found that easy without requiring too much effort and as a result got very little encouragement there too.

    That changed when I became a parent and in spite of my own experiences, I understand the importance to a child of hearing encouragement; irrespective of their achievements.

    So I hope that my children experienced it in abundance.

    1. Thank you. Yes, we tend to learn on the job and use our own parents as a measure of how they parent us.

      You're lucky that you were reasonably capable in school, because I am sure where you didn't have the encouragement, you will still have been reasonably capable in school.

      I know so many children who not only struggled with the teaching, but struggled with a lack of encouragement coming from home.

      Encouraged children will always be encouraged to do and give of their best. Sadly, that can never happen with children whose parents don't encourage, unless as you have shown you're capable.

      Where children struggle they will continue to struggle, sadly.

  2. From what I recall, looking back I can probably count on one hand who has encouraged me. I think as a child and a teen I felt more encouraged than then as an adult.

    The real world slapped me in the face in a really cruel way, when I wasn't paying attention. My mother and probably two or three friends (that's including you) have encouraged me. The rest We're not interested, because it has nothing to do with them and can't gain any self achievement from it and/or feel superior to me and everyone else.

    I can comfortably say my mom is the only one that I'm related to that makes me feel encouraged and feel like somebody and she's always been the type to put herself in another person's shoes in order to understand them. She's very smart and loving.

    1. Thanks Bonnie. Yes, never having had encouragement in my life I know how you feel Bonnie, where others could have encouraged you and didn't.

      The one person in our lives we hope will encourage us, in your case has. I love that your mum has and continues to encourage you.

      Looking back on my own life and looking at what I do in the shape of the Diary, encouragement matters only because we're supposed to have the love, support and encouragement.

      We can still look to achieve and encourage ourselves. We must work on ourselves. I have also learned that we cannot wait for others to encourage. That it would be nice to have the encouragement but we can't always rely on it.

      I also believe that not having encouragement can very much be the catalyst for new beginnings, taking us on a different path altogether.

  3. I know how cruel the world is, so I take it upon myself to encourage people the best way I can.

    But I can use a little encouragement myself from time to time.

    1. Thanks Tim. I think it's great that you choose to encourage others. Through years of never having been encouraged, I understood early on why it was important to encourage and for us to be encouraged.

      As children, when our parents fail to do something with us, we recognise that very quickly. I absolutely agree with you about encouragement. There are times when we could use encouragement from time to time. We're not always capable of being on top form all of the time.

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