Only we know what we believe and if what we believe is the truth. Unless we're void of truth because we're mentally ill, we know if we’re lying to ourselves. Only we know what our values are and whether we stand and live by those values. We must be honest with ourselves.

If we're not honest with ourselves, we can change, but not all of us will have the desire to change. We may not accept we need to change. Having the desire to change comes with a discipline of its own. We must want to change.

In the long term, being honest with ourselves means life becomes less complicated. Issues that once seemed daunting will become easier to manage. We'll be more in control, we'll be gentle with ourselves, and with others too.

When we’re not honest, we live a lie. When we’re honest everything falls into place and even if it doesn't automatically, you'll have less obstacles in your way. When we're not honest, life becomes a treadmill, and one of deceit.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Being honest”

  1. In previous years I felt like I wasn't honest to myself, because I was what my friends and family wanted for me to be for fear of confrontation or rejection.

    Fortunately, I have learned to be who I actually am. I am the one who's living my life, so I am not going to pretend I am someone else. If people don't like who I am, oh well.

    1. Thanks Maria. Ditto on your thoughts. Your response totally resonates with me. I was also someone others wanted me to be until I realised I was very unhappy.

      When I changed the way I viewed myself so that my life was more about me, my family didn't like it and probably still don't. I think you're right though, we have to be honest with ourselves first and be who we are so that we can live our lives our own way and not for other people.

  2. I think honesty is one of the most fundamental and basic qualities that we need, to form lasting relationships and that must start with being honest with ourselves, as you say.

    I do try to be honest in my business dealings, to the point of turning work away that I do not feel is in the client's interest and that in itself has led to difficulties at times.

    I am happy that I will be able to look back and say that on the whole, I have acted honestly and professionally. Our personal lives are more complicated, as we don't always get honesty back from people, but equally the responsibility is on us to be honest in any case.

    1. Yes we can't vouch for other people only ourselves, but agree with you. I believe being honest with ourselves and others does pay and will do. It often doesn't seem like that as you've pointed out, but in the longer term I always believe it does. Unfortunately as you've experienced, not everyone works from the same copy book.

      It's a shame because we'd all be better off if we did. We'd have more harmony in our lives, with less difficulties based around relationships, both in our personal life and through work.

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