"In the English language, black sheep is an idiom that describes a member of a group who is different from the rest, especially a family member who does not fit in. The term stems from sheep whose fleece is colored black rather than the more common white; these sheep stand out in the flock and their wool is worth less as it will not dye.” – Wikipedia

I was the black sheep it turns out. Being born with a physical, mental, and emotional disability, meant I didn’t fit. Automatic disqualification. It’s not that we want to be different, but society views 'difference' differently and that has a bearing on 'family.'

Examples of the Black sheep

For me being the black sheep turned out to be a curse more than a blessing because me and my disability were ignored. Other black sheep examples include, a tomboy, a child with spunk. A geeky child, an academic child, a child that’s small, or one that's too tall, or a child that is overweight. The irony is that a child that is the black sheep, becomes the adult who continues to be the black sheep. Like all titles, it tends to stick like mud, no matter how many times you try to unstick yourself.

Mental rejection

I have experienced mental rejection and that has continued throughout my adult life. I was made to feel excluded, marginalised, isolated and alone. For anyone experiencing being the black sheep, it’s very real and can be incredibly difficult and traumatic. The people you expect to support and who should want to support you, don’t. Those who should understand you and what you deal with, your perspective, don’t.

Being the BlackSheep can be incredibly traumatic

The experience of being the blacksheep is very real and can be incredibly traumatic. The people you expect to know you, don’t. The people who should want to understand your perspective, don’t. This trauma often lasts a lifetime, even if contact with the family of origin has been cut.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “Being The Black Sheep”

  1. I'm hearing you! Yes, it's not okay to be called the 'black sheep' but that term is down to the person using it, it's on them and not the recipient.

    Using the sheep origins for term, it's fine to stand out, in fact it's great to stand out (you stand out for all the right reasons) and if others don't like that, then so be it.

    1. If you had have said the same thing to me years ago, I would have struggled with the concept, but I wasn't in the place I am today.

      Through my writing (my blog and books) I am in a much better mental space. And you're right, if others don't like that, then it is on them.

      This response is for anyone feeling the same. You matter and I care.

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