"I could have chosen to be ‘beyond angry’ about my experiences and how I got to this place with something I didn't know I had, but what would have been the point?
Anger just eats away at you, it makes you bitter. Anger doesn’t dissipate, you can't experience catharsis by unleashing your anger. It doesn’t make your anger easier to manage. It increases the intensity of how you're feeling.
As a child I never consciously connected with my anger. There were no connections between my physical, mental and emotional disability, or what any of those meant because I didn't know I had something I was dealing with.
It didn’t help that I was left to get on with things mentally and emotionally on my own. I go back to how anyone with a physical and mental disability is supposed to 'just get on with things.'
Whilst I was angry, it was up to those close to me to understand my anger. When my circumstances changed in my mid-forties I started piecing my life together, taking myself through my blog and book journey.
I can’t remember how old I was when officially I let go of anger, but it helped that I left home and for the first time leaving home and 'just being me' was the start of that journey."
'Beyond angry' is putting it politely, since I was insanely furious for a long time. I mostly took what happened to me out on myself.
It's no wonder I kept ending up in the same type of emotionally abusive relationships as that is was what I was used to. You live what you know, even when it's extremely unhealthy.
I have watched so many others people do the same thing, even though I tried to tell them that they had choices. I would have to say that 'love' is definitely deaf, dumb and blind.
I was finally able to let go of most of my anger, when I chose to walk away from my last relationship as I didn't want to deal with so much of the anger again.
Thanks Randy. Yes, I hear you. Honestly, I did the same thing. You find yourself doing it when no one else takes responsibility.
I'm not sure how old I was when I began to understand my life and began to turn things on its head. Your life was never about you Randy. My life wasn't about me.
Generally, anyone continuing to carry what doesn't belong to them, just adds to the 'anger they feel' so that they become even more angry. Anger if it continues can make you physically and mentally ill.
You know your life wasn't about you; it was your parents life making their life about you.