Good cop, bad cop

Date 7 September 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
Good cop or bad cop parenting, which category do you fall into? Either way both these roles can be damaging. This kind of parenting not only splits the parents, but splits the children as well because the good cop parent will always been the good parent by ...
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Arm's length relationships

Date 6 September 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
Do you know someone who is intent on keeping you in their life on their own terms and at arm's length? It tends to happen when there’s a history. It’s usually something that builds up over time, but if you’re not particularly bothered about the relationship being kept at arm's…
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Inevitable change

Date 4 September 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
With a few days to go before university, we’re all feeling somewhat apprehensive. It of course comes with the territory before change happens and is inevitable, even though we know what that change is going to be. I know things beyond Sunday will be fine. I am genuinely ...
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Wasted opportunities

Date 1 September 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
Not being upset that a parent isn’t in our life, doesn’t make us bad people. It highlights things for us that should have been changed that weren’t, when that parent was this side of life. It just allows us to distance our feelings. Whilst dealing with my father’s terminal illness,…
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Making our own mark

Date 30 August 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
Whilst waiting to go in and see my dentist yesterday, I was reading an article on the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and was just thinking how wonderful life is with the right support. It’s lovely to see how they’re putting their own mark on their lives together and how…
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Wanting to be me

Date 28 August 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
I’ve had to be my own emotional support, so it’s nothing new that I’m still doing it. When I’m around negativity, it reinforces everything that I’ve had to deal with that was negative that I have managed to turn my back on. I want just one day where I can…
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Yet more changes

Date 25 August 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
As university is fast upon us, it’s hard to think that in just two weeks our lives will change again. It’s not just about university, it’s the whole package, it’s coming home more with a completely different mindset than when they left. Leaving home changes a person, invariably the person…
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Handling bad news

Date 24 August 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
I’ve never been great at responding to bad news. As a child I would unconsciously talk myself into things as a result of any bad news. As the adult I try to cope with bad news, positively. I know that attitude and focus may help pave the way for positive…
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Time for change

Date 22 August 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
I wish I’d got to this stage in my life with more control over the decisions I wanted to make, but had no choice. It’s only when someone close to us moves away that we bring into question what we’ve accomplished, up to that point. In just under three weeks…
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The healing process

Date 20 August 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
When we can accept people’s bad points as well as good, we know we’ve worked through a process of understanding. When we can continue to have a relationship with the people who hurt us and are willing to let the hurt go, we know we’ve worked through the healing process.…
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Crossing paths

Date 18 August 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
I have always gone with the belief that things happen for a reason, but I also believe though that things don’t sometimes happen because of a reasoning not always known to us at the time, but that we may learn later why. That happened to me fairly recently, but on…
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Pressures of change

Date 16 August 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
Our lives are going to change again in three weeks when Claudia leaves home for the first time. With A level results behind her now, tonight seems like an anti-climax. The build up to exams has been enormously difficult for all of us. Emotionally we’ve had to deal with those…
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