Living with conflict

Date 15 August 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
In an ideal world, children will grow up without conflict in their lives, but for many children that doesn’t always happen. I have seen through the eyes of other children, what it was like to live with parents who didn’t fight, but those weren’t my experiences. I was no stranger…
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Feeling invisible

Date 13 August 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
Does anyone get those days where they begin to feel invisible or transparent, where they're talking but nobody’s listening, where they can’t seem to say or do the right thing even though they know they’re doing all the right things? Don’t you just feel you could hibernate until ...
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Things left unsaid

Date 9 August 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
Things are left unsaid because we’re afraid to point them out; things are left unsaid because we’re unsure what we say will either be misrepresented or won’t be heard at all. Things are left unsaid because we don’t find it easy to say what feel we have to say. We…
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The incompetence of some

Date 6 August 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
It’s been such a frustrating day, because I’ve met with so much incompetence. This morning I phoned my doctor’s surgery to get the results of an additional cholesterol test and after a difficult conversation with the receptionist, found out that because of a strike at the blood labs, my blood…
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Our need for things

Date 4 August 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
Have you ever talked yourself into buying something because you’re convinced you need it, then when you’ve got it find it’s not what it was cracked up to be? If I was told I had to choose between two cars I would choose the one I liked, but if someone…
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Moods & moral standings

Date 3 August 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
Bad moods are completely contagious. I should know I’ve grown up around them. But did you know bad moods can change our moral standings too? Research has now been carried out by a group of German researchers whose work has been published in 'Cognition' and their conclusion is that our…
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Better days

Date 1 August 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
I have to say I’ve had better days and this doesn’t seem to be one of them. I’m struggling with most things today. I just can’t think straight; I’ve had so much going on in the last week. Since my father passed we’re in a different place now because of…
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Issues around control

Date 31 July 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
When we fail to search within ourselves for the answers to some of the issues we have, we may find ourselves stressed. Searching within ourselves can make a difference between a life that just moves us along without us having control, or a life that leaves us happier because we…
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The art of self-compassion

Date 29 July 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
When I look back at my childhood it’s not difficult to see why I was angry. Living with a disability I didn’t know I had, with no choices and having played no part in my decisions, I went on to live with guilt for many years, thinking I could and…
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The next few days

Date 26 July 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
Today I’m going in as a day patient to my local hospital for minor surgery. Nothing serious and I’m not worried. I’d like to add one or two quotes to the feature page in the meantime and will also include a link to Jesse Ramos’ site, someone who also deals…
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Using Empathy and Sympathy

Date 25 July 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
Empathy and sympathy are closely related, but both have different connotations. Empathy is about feeling what someone else feels, whilst sympathy is about action. When you meet someone with empathy it isn’t difficult to see they are sympathetic too. Someone who is sympathetic but not ...
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What keeps us stuck

Date 22 July 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
As we journey through life, we may accumulate various behaviour patterns that can keep us permanently stuck, as those patterns continue to impact our lives. As a child it wasn’t something I was consciously aware of. I also didn’t have enough understanding around my circumstances to give me a clear…
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