Making Myself Stronger

Date 25 February 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
"I love the fact that my website, The CP Diary has made me stronger. Talking about my experiences in a self-contained space that feels safe has changed my attitude to life. Although my life has culminated in some bitter experiences ...
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Walking Away

Date 22 February 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
In the early years, I realised that I needed to walk away from the emotional bitterness that consumed my every thought. Walking away needed to happen, but it wouldn’t solve anything, while I was still connected to my ...
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A Disability Not Obvious

Date 21 February 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
It’s impossible to navigate a disability where it's not obvious and you don’t come across as particularly disabled, but you still have nuances, mental and emotional struggles that you deal with that aren't always obvious to ...
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My Autistic Smile

Date 16 February 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
"My Autism is mild enough for me to live my life, and although it gets in the way of my day-to-day living, it has allowed me to work through and document my experiences. I don’t mind autism, but I do mind others struggling ...
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Autism, a Social Awkwardness

Date 10 February 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
The social awkwardness of autism is the most difficult to deal with. Growing up, I didn’t know autism was responsible for my mental and emotional disabilities. Although I have mild autism and I’m not high functioning ...
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Others accepting Us

Date 8 February 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
"I’ve talked about my relationship with autism and the difficulties I have in forming and fitting into people’s lives around it, but I haven’t gone into detail about other people’s relationship with me and how they deal with my ...
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Accepting Myself

Date 5 February 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
I have never changed my resolve to know and understand what I deal with. Although it has taken time, over the years I have come to accept cerebral palsy. It doesn’t change or define who I am, if anything, it has made my ...
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Mum's Intimations

Date 4 February 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
"I can see that my mum’s illness created a space where she felt able to share something about my disability – something she had carried with her for a long time. It wasn't right. At the time, I didn’t fully grasp the significance of ...
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Free from Blame

Date 31 January 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
There was one area of my life that I continually blamed myself for and that was my failing in school. Each day was a continual battle. As I dutifully got dressed each morning, I knew it was going to be another day of ...
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Autism and Communication

Date 25 January 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
"On my struggle days I hate autism, but I know it’s still a gift. Every day as I write through my mind with free flow, I am aware that trying to find the words when I am verbally speaking to someone, is impossible. Having autism ...
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Autism and Facial Expressions

Date 23 January 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
"There are so many things I grew up with not knowing about myself, the biggest bug bear is not knowing why staring back in the mirror there was no animation in my smile, or my eyes. I had a lack of facial expression, through ...
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I Should Have Been Told

Date 16 January 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
"For every day, for every week, for every month, for every year, for every milestone, I should have been told about my disability. Being told about my disability was not a luxury I was afforded. For every struggle, for every negative ...
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