My New Normal

Date 5 August 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
I am struggling with anxiety trying to fit my life around Covid-19. I know what my limitations are now I am out of lock down. It’s not just autism that’s making me feel uncomfortable. Sensory Processing Disorder Sensory ...
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Closer to My Disability

Date 3 August 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
Covid-19 has brought me closer to my disability more than I ever imagined I would be. I could never have imagined it would, dealing with a disability in a pandemic. Having cerebral palsy and respiratory disease, means ...
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Growing a Backbone

Date 30 July 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
Growing up I was always angry, and others took advantage. I needed to grow a backbone. When you eventually grow one, others see what you do as non-caring. But it's important to take control on how you choose to live your life ...
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How I Got to this Place

Date 29 July 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
Emotional or mental trauma is based on living a traumatic life. Not knowing I had cerebral palsy or autism, and having to live each day with the consequences, were traumatic. Being able to write, means I have a platform ...
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Visualisation

Date 23 July 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
"Visualisation is the act or an instance of visualising a technique involving focusing on positive mental images in order to achieve a particular goal that is similar to a visual perception." - Dictionary.com ...
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How Autism Locks me In

Date 16 July 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
Just thinking about trying to get out of the house with Covid-19, to get back into my life is sending my head into a tailspin. No matter how many times I look at this, the result is the same. I can’t seem to get past this point. Feeling ...
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Trying to Find Acceptance

Date 9 July 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
"This was on my mind today. When I look at my life in the whole, I can’t believe that as I continue to write and talk about my experiences that this was my life. Then I reconcile that it happened that I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing ...
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Confinements of Lockdown

Date 6 July 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
"I continue to write about Covid-19 on The CP Diary, because I'd cope less not talking about it. With lockdown finished, the UK Government has forced those who are high risk, out of their homes. With pubs already open and ...
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Too Many Years to Erase

Date 4 July 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
"Being a parent, I am still trying to get my head around the fact that my disability was ignored for so long. The fact that it was ignored, and I continued to live my life without knowing anything about my disability has taken its ...
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We Shape our own Future

Date 30 June 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
As a child, every thought and spoken word you’re given, shapes you and your future. In my own case, couple that with a disability I didn't know I had, and it's taken me decades to work out and to change my future. For us ...
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Just be Nice

Date 28 June 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
Be nice because you can. Be nice because you would want others to be nice to you and because being nice strengthens relationships and it's the right thing to do. There is no getting away from my mental and emotional struggles ...
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Covid-19, our Changed Lives

Date 22 June 2020
Author Ilana Estelle
Living in lockdown hasn't been easy, but it will have been a waste, if we are to learn nothing from our experiences on why we went into lockdown in the first place. It doesn't feel right for us to come out, and change ...
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