To understand, to forgive

Date 14 December 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
Our ability to see beyond hurt encourages emotional growth. When we understand other people’s actions that causes us to feel and understand, it allows us to let go. We may never go on to experience life in its entirety, if we don’t let go of resentment. It’s the act of…
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Understanding your emotions

Date 11 December 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
Getting to know our emotions and understanding what they mean is the kindest thing we will ever do. It is the difference between us staying well and becoming unwell. Although emotions can add energy and a variety of feelings which will impact our lives, those emotions can also leave us…
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Patronising & condescending

Date 10 December 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
In an ideal world, all relationships would be equal. Where we work as a team, the relationship becomes equal, but where there are those who patronise, are condescending, talk down or belittle us as if what we've said is misplaced or wrong, or they think they’re a cut above the…
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Playing favourites

Date 8 December 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
It’s easy for anyone born with a disability to become the target of their parents’ affections through misplaced guilt. Their targeting isn’t because they favour us over our siblings, it is merely because they have more work to do with us, but unfortunately that’s not always how it will be…
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Why we avoid responsibility

Date 6 December 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
We either block issues out because the issues are too difficult, or when we look back we’re not willing to agree another person’s version of our story. Why do some of us go to great lengths to evade responsibility? We evade responsibility because it seems too difficult. We’re not always…
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Spending time on our own

Date 1 December 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
I did have someone close to me who not only struggled with being alone, he also didn’t like himself, which didn’t help and that added to how he felt about spending time on his own. Are you happy spending time in your own company, or does the prospect send shivers…
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Be confident, not arrogant

Date 30 November 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
Many of us who are confident turn out to be arrogant. Over-confidence can spill into arrogance and no one likes arrogance, let alone having to deal with someone who is arrogant. Confident people ooze optimism and that makes them emotionally strong, but it’s seeing themselves as superior that changes the…
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Consciously connecting

Date 27 November 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
Perhaps we need to consciously connect, to rethink our thoughts, particularly where it involves our past, because without our past in check, we will come to emotionally struggle in our present. It’s only in times when we face uncertainty or when something happens, that the cracks begin to surface on…
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A Thought from Barack Obama

Date 23 November 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
“What I say to them is that people are complicated. Societies and cultures are really complicated. This is not mathematics; this is biology and chemistry. These are living organisms and it’s messy. And your job as ...
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Relationships within families

Date 19 November 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
What is it about families that can make our life difficult, in some cases almost intolerable? They say it's the nature of families, but I think it's the nature of certain individuals. Unfortunately, they can be opinionated, controlling and judgmental. They might also be annoying, but it’s probably the annoying…
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Projecting opinions

Date 18 November 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
Whilst we easily identify the process of projection in others, few of us will equate that in ourselves, unless we know of course and choose to opt out. Growing up, parents will often project their opinions on us, as their parents did with them and in turn we will project…
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Empathetic understanding

Date 15 November 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
For those of us who understand what it means to be empathetic, we understand other people, we also understand their issues, regardless of what their issues are, how they get to make some of their decisions, or who is at fault. For some of us, it’s often because we don’t…
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