As a child, I held back and kept my emotions to myself, partly because no one was listening and partly because my childhood wasn’t a happy one. It was my coping mechanism.
Repression of emotions
When we talk about 'repression of emotions,' we are talking about holding our emotions back. It’s a means of survival so that we don’t have to deal with how we feel. It’s a technique used temporarily to help us manage our issues, so that we can obtain emotional stability through painful situations.
About Repression
Repression helps us block out unwanted thoughts, feelings and memories that if we were to think about would make us first feel irritated and upset. It involves projecting our feelings and attention away from our conscious thoughts into our subconscious, blocking out hurtful memories. Using repression must only be used temporarily.
Dealing with our emotions
It is important we tap into our subconscious and deal with the emotions we constantly put on the back burner, so that we can tackle issues head on. Not talking or addressing issues can seem like the easy way out, but eventually the issues we ignore will begin to make us physically and emotionally sick.
There is no quick fix to emotional healing, but actually wanting to heal is a good place to start.
I remember a lot of things and sometimes I'll bring them up in conversation with others.
I don't keep things to myself that often. I remember all the good and the bad from when I was growing up, but most of it was good though.
I had a good childhood I guess, considering I had type 1 diabetes.
It's good that you remember all the good and bad from your childhood. To me it clearly shows that although you had bad, they weren't bad enough for you to block them out. I am pleased about that.
All too often we don't say what needs to be said and should. It's great that you have learned to say what needs to be said.
I remember watching 'Star Trek' (TOS) with my dad.
I began to identify with Mr Spock and the way he controlled his emotions. From then on I wanted to be just like him. I did not like emotions, especially mine.
I wanted to be the logical thinker that he was, without those pesky emotions getting in the way. Now, some 30 years later my wife tells me that I'm an uncaring, emotionless person who never learned to talk about or show emotion. 30 years ago I would've considered that a success.
I kinda still do. Emotions never server my needs. But I'm learning to show them more!
For starters Bill I am sure you're not uncaring or emotionless. You're probably like me, never found the right person to talk to who would appreciate you for what you were dealing with.
I'm sorry to have to say this but I believe that when someone says we're uncaring and emotionless, it's usually because they are all of those things too! Someone who cares enough, helps rather than points out someone's faults.
It's a shame your wife isn't helping you work through your emotions. If she did, she would not only help you, but she would help herself too. She needs to be more understanding of what you go through emotionally living with CP.
I don't believe anyone is born angry or uncaring. I also don't believe you are either of those things.
As a child I never aired my emotions either, but deep inside I was the most caring child and very occasionally that side would come out. I was hurting too much. I think you are hurting too as well as being very frustrated.
I can resonate with you on the problems you have about being a logical thinker. It's putting logic into practice sometimes. I understand more than I am able to get back, particularly if I am asked to do something.
Holding back on emotions is never good. Talk to someone or even start a journal.
Venting is healthy and makes you feel a whole lot better.
I totally agree with you. Holding on to emotions can make us physically ill. Unfortunately I have seen first hand how that works.
I love this one. I think it's really good and helpful for us to talk about our emotions and deal with them openly.
I don't think bottling our emotions up inside can be healthy. Love this post.
I couldn't agree with you more! You're so right Katie.